Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
- Downloads：2760
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-04-26 08:53:12
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Laura Markham
- ISBN：0399160280
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible， capable， happy kids
Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents， Dr。 Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective。 Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change。 When you have that vital connection， you don’t need to threaten， nag， plead， bribe—or even punish。
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits， empathy， and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child。 Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years。
If you’re tired of power struggles， tantrums， and searching for the right “consequence，” look no further。 You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive， proven way。
Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents， Dr。 Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective。 Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change。 When you have that vital connection， you don’t need to threaten， nag， plead， bribe—or even punish。
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits， empathy， and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child。 Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years。
If you’re tired of power struggles， tantrums， and searching for the right “consequence，” look no further。 You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive， proven way。
Reviews
Jennifer
，
Extremely helpful info！！！
Jasmyn
，
Really good advice。 I don't agree with everything she says or think that "studies show" is always the best thing to base your parenting off of， but there was a lot that was great in this book。 1。 Regulate yourself2。 Foster connection3。 Coaching， not controlling Really good advice。 I don't agree with everything she says or think that "studies show" is always the best thing to base your parenting off of， but there was a lot that was great in this book。 1。 Regulate yourself2。 Foster connection3。 Coaching， not controlling 。。。more
Audrey De
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There was a point in this book that talked about holding your child down and helping them get to an emotional point of breaking。。。It also referenced wanting to smash your kid in a wall。Unsure of those 2 points as being healthy。。
Ashley G。
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Practical advice。 Mostly geared toward parents of younger children。
Melissa
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Ho-ly sancti-mony， Batman。 DNF。
mairead
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n。b。:* "whenever we get "triggered，" we've stumbled on something that needs healing。 seriously。 any time your child pushes your buttons， he's showing you an unresolved issue from your own childhood。"* "stop。 close your mouth， even in mid-sentence。"* "Being authentic about the truth of your experience never requires you to "dump" them on someone else， unfiltered。"* respective observation and strategic scaffolding* regulate yourself， foster connection， coach not control* connection before correcti n。b。:* "whenever we get "triggered，" we've stumbled on something that needs healing。 seriously。 any time your child pushes your buttons， he's showing you an unresolved issue from your own childhood。"* "stop。 close your mouth， even in mid-sentence。"* "Being authentic about the truth of your experience never requires you to "dump" them on someone else， unfiltered。"* respective observation and strategic scaffolding* regulate yourself， foster connection， coach not control* connection before correction* "instead of labeling or evaluating our child， what if we simply connected with him， using our empathy， our willingness to be fully present and notice him， our joy in the relationship？"* "the memories that color their lives will be about how we made them feel。" 。。。more
Sophie
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Similar to others I've read but really appreciated the refresher。 Sits well with the way I do things anyway and picked up some tips and reminders。 Can see why this would get mixed reviews， unless you've already been parenting in this way I would avoid as it would definitely feel judgemental。 Also not suitable for those fostering / adopting from difficult backgrounds as it definitely has the attitude that the damage has already been done。。。 But for me， it was good。 Similar to others I've read but really appreciated the refresher。 Sits well with the way I do things anyway and picked up some tips and reminders。 Can see why this would get mixed reviews， unless you've already been parenting in this way I would avoid as it would definitely feel judgemental。 Also not suitable for those fostering / adopting from difficult backgrounds as it definitely has the attitude that the damage has already been done。。。 But for me， it was good。 。。。more
Ryceejo
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This is probably the best parenting book I’ve read yet， and I’ve read quite a few。 My daughter still struggles with major anger issues， but our emotional connection has been much stronger this past month。 It hasn’t changed her yet， but it has changed me in positive ways。
Thu Nguyen
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Did not finish。 Piece of shit。 Waste of time。1 hour into a 6-hour audiobook version and I'm already angry at the way this woman writing off all the struggles any parent （who is not a saint） has with staying calm around their kids。 One parent told the author it took them an hour to calm down and the author's response is to laugh at it and say "Seriously？ It doesn't take your body an hour to calm down unless you encounter a tiger！"。 Such blatant disregard of a parent's confession。 How can anyone s Did not finish。 Piece of shit。 Waste of time。1 hour into a 6-hour audiobook version and I'm already angry at the way this woman writing off all the struggles any parent （who is not a saint） has with staying calm around their kids。 One parent told the author it took them an hour to calm down and the author's response is to laugh at it and say "Seriously？ It doesn't take your body an hour to calm down unless you encounter a tiger！"。 Such blatant disregard of a parent's confession。 How can anyone seek help from that？ So far all I've got from part 1 is a lot of bull shit about how simple it is to take care of yourself and not get angry with your kids。 You just have to commit to it and you won't get angry。 I'm gonna start my rating with 1 star and see if it will improve by the time I finish wasting another 5 hours on this book， if I can manage finishing it at all。----Half an hour more wasted on this heap of shit。 Finished part 1 about regulating yourself and finding inner peace before dealing with kids。 Lots of delusional， rosy paintings of perfect parent-children relationship without solid psychology explanation of much。 Her 3-minute method to calm down is absolutely rubbish for the parents who truly need help。 And if a parent struggles everyday， her response is to change your life。 How？ Smell the roses。 。。。more
Brittania
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An excellent handbook for children's behaviour and how to raise resilient， self-motivated kids。 An excellent handbook for children's behaviour and how to raise resilient， self-motivated kids。 。。。more
Erika
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Not going to lie， I have mixed feelings about this book。I wanted a book that would help me learn new discipline techniques for my kids instead of the usual yelling， threatening to take away toys， and time-outs。 I can honestly say， I didn’t learn any new techniques。 This book preaches on many pages， throughout several chapters NOT to discipline your children。 What a rude awakening that hippie shit was to read。I have yet to put some of the “techniques” of a discipline free life into place with my Not going to lie， I have mixed feelings about this book。I wanted a book that would help me learn new discipline techniques for my kids instead of the usual yelling， threatening to take away toys， and time-outs。 I can honestly say， I didn’t learn any new techniques。 This book preaches on many pages， throughout several chapters NOT to discipline your children。 What a rude awakening that hippie shit was to read。I have yet to put some of the “techniques” of a discipline free life into place with my children but the few that I did try were actually nice。 I agreed wholeheartedly with this book that making a connection with your child is important， put your damn phone away and play tickle monster for 20 minutes。 You need trust and love between you and your child for anything to work。 I like that the book gives you tips on how to calm down and take a break if need be so you don’t scream your head off at your kids。 It’s needed。 The big take away from this book that you will get is。。。 give your undivided attention to your kids at all times， talk and explain everything to them in the most annoying way possible， and don’t do anything not to do with your kids until they are sleeping。 Don’t even think for one second that you are a person or separate entity from your children and have your own life。 Don’t yell， don’t say “no”， don’t put that spoiled hair pulling little brat in timeout， just give him hugs and kisses and snuggles until you both are just squirming with love。 That solves everything。 Was it what I expected？ No。 Did I find new techniques to better discipline my kids？ No。 Did I find out how badly I already psychologically ruined my children’s lives by the mere fact that I don’t spend every waking second with them？ Yes。 。。。more
Sarah Martin
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Yes yes and no no。 Some of this book really resonated with me and lots of it did not。 Yes to becoming an empathetic and patient parent coaching your child through life。 No to letting your children’s emotions control their lives while not teaching them what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate behavior。
Kristina Rančytė
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Knyga suteikianti pagrindus， kaip jautriai ir su meile auginti vaikus。 Daug naudingų patarimų。 Tikrai reiks skaityti dar kartą。 Viena geresnių knygų apie vaikų auginimą。
rcrockett
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So helpful！ I’ve checked out the audiobook a few times and every time I listen， it helps me be a better mom。
Badr Polymath
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Every parent should read this book。 It helped me start connecting with my daughter in a new way that made us all happy far from sorrow。。 knowledge is really powerful。
Jen Nemeth
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Not much different from what I have already been doing， but it did have a few new good tips， so I liked it;）
Erin Kollar
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The most important parenting book ever written。
Erin
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I don't say this often （and maybe I need more time to let it ruminate）， but this book felt life-changing to me。 I've read a variety of books on gentle parenting/positive parenting， but the way Markham frames her book struck a chord。 She really focuses on 3 things （just 3） the parents need to do to connect with their kid: regulating yourself， fostering connection， and coaching， not controlling。 Maybe it just stuck better with me this time！ The first concept of regulating yourself really hit home- I don't say this often （and maybe I need more time to let it ruminate）， but this book felt life-changing to me。 I've read a variety of books on gentle parenting/positive parenting， but the way Markham frames her book struck a chord。 She really focuses on 3 things （just 3） the parents need to do to connect with their kid: regulating yourself， fostering connection， and coaching， not controlling。 Maybe it just stuck better with me this time！ The first concept of regulating yourself really hit home--I'm more apt to snap and be disagreeable when I'm tired， or he's triggering me。 But when I change my approach with my 4-year old， and really get down on his level and understand what he needs （even if he's throwing or about to throw a tantrum） our whole dynamic shifts。 And the coaching not controlling concept--whew！ I have a spirited kid who LOVES to control， and when I try to control， it's a recipe for disaster。 I'm grateful to have read this - it came just at the right time！ 。。。more
Lavinia Dascălu
，
Am aflat multe informații importante legate de dezvoltarea emoțională și modul în care poți să fii mai prezent （& conectat） cu copilul。 Pe mine personal m-au ajutat。 Nu rezonez neapărat cu ideile autoarei pe partea de disciplinare。 Sunt informații utile ca si cultură generală， dar mi-e greu să cred că micuții crescuți în această ideologie （fără consecințe， disciplină）， vor ajunge adulți funcționali în societate。 Nu cred am curajul să 'îndrăznesc să Nu disciplinezi'， cum încurajează autoarea să f Am aflat multe informații importante legate de dezvoltarea emoțională și modul în care poți să fii mai prezent （& conectat） cu copilul。 Pe mine personal m-au ajutat。 Nu rezonez neapărat cu ideile autoarei pe partea de disciplinare。 Sunt informații utile ca si cultură generală， dar mi-e greu să cred că micuții crescuți în această ideologie （fără consecințe， disciplină）， vor ajunge adulți funcționali în societate。 Nu cred am curajul să 'îndrăznesc să Nu disciplinezi'， cum încurajează autoarea să facem。。。 Traducerea în românește lasă de dorit， nu o recomand deloc。 。。。more
Heather
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All I can say is， I wish I read this sooner。 I knew that my techniques weren't working and I needed a better way to communicate with my little one and this book changed our lives。 It was thoughtfully written and gave amazing techniques to help me rethink how I react to any difficult toddler situation。 This book opened my eyes and gave me techniques to avoid toddler meltdowns and find a better way to make my little one feel heard and empowered。 This book is life changing。 Within just two weeks ou All I can say is， I wish I read this sooner。 I knew that my techniques weren't working and I needed a better way to communicate with my little one and this book changed our lives。 It was thoughtfully written and gave amazing techniques to help me rethink how I react to any difficult toddler situation。 This book opened my eyes and gave me techniques to avoid toddler meltdowns and find a better way to make my little one feel heard and empowered。 This book is life changing。 Within just two weeks our house is calmer and meltdowns are almost non-existent。 Definitely a must read for parents of kids of any age。 。。。more
Clare
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Insightful advice that helped me identify a few of my own parenting practices that I previously thought of as “good” parenting （ex: saying “shhhh you’re ok” when they cry） as instead being potentially problematic （your kid learns that they are “wrong” about what they are feeling and need to keep their sadness to themselves）， and gives good advice on how to respond more helpfully （“you’re really sad and frustrated because you didn’t get a second ice cream cone。 It’s ok to cry when you’re sad， and Insightful advice that helped me identify a few of my own parenting practices that I previously thought of as “good” parenting （ex: saying “shhhh you’re ok” when they cry） as instead being potentially problematic （your kid learns that they are “wrong” about what they are feeling and need to keep their sadness to themselves）， and gives good advice on how to respond more helpfully （“you’re really sad and frustrated because you didn’t get a second ice cream cone。 It’s ok to cry when you’re sad， and I’ll sit right here with you until you feel better。”）。 。。。more
Cameron Neale
，
A must-read for any parent。 You will understand your kids better， and everyone will be happier。
Janelle Deline
，
Very good。 I wish I had read this at the start of my motherhood。
Dovile Peciule
，
Girdėjau daug rekomendacijú， skatinančiú jà skaityti。 Tikrai informatyvi ir lengvai skaitoma knyga， bet tikrai buvo apie kà pagalvoti。 Paaugus vaikams， skaitysiu dar kartà。
Ben Oberholtzer
，
Completely changed my thinking towards foster parenting。 I definitely lean more towards consequences and being introduced to the idea of focusing more on connecting when misbehavior happened was a new and helpful idea。 I struggle thinking I can go to the "extreme" as the author asks， but regardless it was a helpful challenge。 Completely changed my thinking towards foster parenting。 I definitely lean more towards consequences and being introduced to the idea of focusing more on connecting when misbehavior happened was a new and helpful idea。 I struggle thinking I can go to the "extreme" as the author asks， but regardless it was a helpful challenge。 。。。more
Candace
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DNF @ 21% in Ch。2 when I read， "If your situation requires daycare， choose warm，nurturing care with a high staff-to-child ratio。" （Why would anyone choose a cold， heartless daycare with a low staff-to-child ratio？）， followed by， "Put daycare off for as long as you can。 Keep the hours as reduced as you can。" （Guilt trip， much？ Also， this is in direct conflict with the first chapter about caring for yourself so that you can care for your family。）， finishing with， "Consider postponing having anothe DNF @ 21% in Ch。2 when I read， "If your situation requires daycare， choose warm，nurturing care with a high staff-to-child ratio。" （Why would anyone choose a cold， heartless daycare with a low staff-to-child ratio？）， followed by， "Put daycare off for as long as you can。 Keep the hours as reduced as you can。" （Guilt trip， much？ Also， this is in direct conflict with the first chapter about caring for yourself so that you can care for your family。）， finishing with， "Consider postponing having another child until your first is a preschooler so you can increase the bonding time for both。" I very rarely read parenting books， and this is why。 Not wasting any more time on this。 。。。more
Grace Christenson
，
If I could only ever recommend one parenting book， this would be the one。 Incredibly transformational。
Alexis K。
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POSITIVES:+ A number of practical tips and techniques。+ Breaks down situations into age ranges。 + Emphasizes empathy and recognizing your child's needsNEGATIVES:- Makes bold， wide-ranging statements without any reference to the actual research she is supposedly summarizing。- Advises to avoid "threatening" or "forcing" kids to do what you want， but also says you should "control the options" so kids do what you want via implied manipulation。 And if they cry， scream and kick when you "order" them （ POSITIVES:+ A number of practical tips and techniques。+ Breaks down situations into age ranges。 + Emphasizes empathy and recognizing your child's needsNEGATIVES:- Makes bold， wide-ranging statements without any reference to the actual research she is supposedly summarizing。- Advises to avoid "threatening" or "forcing" kids to do what you want， but also says you should "control the options" so kids do what you want via implied manipulation。 And if they cry， scream and kick when you "order" them （gently） to do something -- that's perfectly fine and fits within the acceptable outcomes。- Says all kids will respond to her formula because they are all the same and have the same motivators / responses， but in later chapters she admits （begrudgingly） some kids are more difficult and differently wired than others。- Presents her formulas as the "one true way" and if you don't follow them， your child will end up on drugs， with long hair， and a commodities trader。 Admits， later in the book， most parents will be fine， and their kids will feel loved if they don't follow her advice specifically。 BUT if you have a "difficult" child， you absolutely need her secret sauce。 - The actual examples she uses as "successes" for her theories are so out of bounds cost and time wise for most people they border on farcical。 --- -- -- Personal Note: Glad to have finished it。 May have scrawled "WTF" several times in the margins to some of her statements。 。。。more
Amber
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I probably need this book on repeat in the back of my head。 Highly recommend， albeit with a strong biblical filter。 Really felt like it met me in a lot of my weak spots， though。
Zsuzsa Gyarmati
，